Mirrors: Windows to see ourselves
Exactly who are you? You are indeed unique, and no one else is quite the same. So, what makes you you? Part of the answer is your appearance. Other people spot you in a crowd and recognize your likeness. They know it’s you. The way you look identifies you to others, and your appearance is part of your self-identity as well.
How do you know what you look like, though? As part of the human condition, your eyes can only look outwards, and you can’t turn them inwards to look at yourself. If you want to see who you are, you look in a mirror.
Mirrors are magical windows to see ourselves. Each mirror is slightly flawed, yielding a different picture. If you take a cheap door mirror, for example, and mount it on the wall with a slight bump in the center behind it, you have a fat mirror. If you put the bumps on each end, it will be a thin mirror. A cloudy old mirror will make you look dark and gloomy, and a thick, new mirror will have a clear reflection.
Dovid דוד Glasses Script:
Step 3: Realize that the letter ה is actually a composite of 2 letters, ד (dales) and י (yud). See the deeper truth, that the ד is just a vessel that receives the letter י into it, in order to make a ה.
10 steps for managing lust/desire
You can see beyond the façade of this world by using the "Dovid דוד glasses". It works like this:
Step 1: The Talmud states in Menachos 29B that this world was created with the letter ה (hay). In order to prepare yourself to put on the דוד glasses, when you are looking at the world, first become aware that you are looking at a letter ה.
Step 2: Contemplate that each of us is a “world” unto ourselves. Together, we comprise the world as a whole. Therefore, we are also all הs. The second step is to ponder that each of us is a letter ה.
The Spiral, Unwanted Realities and Disturbance
Life seldom gives us exactly what we want, or the way we want. This can be difficult for us in many ways, causing a lot of disturbance. The way we expect reality to turn out just doesn’t match the way that it really turns out, and this incongruity produces much suffering.
Expectations are like entry ramps ⇢ into our journey through the spiral of non-acceptance. We experience at least 2 stages on this journey, and usually enter into the spiral through at least 2 ⇢ entry ramps. Sometimes we get stuck. We shift back and forth between different stages. It’s common to employ denial at the same time that we find ourselves in another stage. Sometimes denial is an automatic defense, sometimes it’s an outright refusal, and sometimes it is chosen consciously.
Our disturbance can result from unfulfilled expectations, or from living according to our assumptions. We take things for granted. We just assume that life will continue the way it has done for so long, such as that a loved one will
always be there, and then they die. We expect, we assume, and we wish that reality could be different, and in our entitlement we maintain that it should be different ( ⇢ anger). The great problem here is that our expectations of what should happen have absolutely no bearing on what’s actually going to take place. It’s like making fairytale wishes upon stars.
Facilitating Acceptance, Part II:
The Serenity Prayer
The Serenity Prayer
The serenity prayer is central to 12 step programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous and the various other “anonymous” groups. Outside the context of 12-step as well, the prayer helps many people to handle daily life issues. With the prayer’s concepts, one learns to “live life on life’s terms” and cope with reality. Instead of using a substance, a process, or a relationship for instant gratification and to escape unwanted realities, the participant learns how to manage reality, either through hard acceptance or by working to change it when possible.
Facilitating Acceptance, Part III:
Making Growth the Goal
Making Growth the Goal
It’s difficult to accept reality, at least when that reality doesn’t give us what we want. We find ourselves traveling down the road in one direction, and we expect it to continue on and take us to our desired destination, but REALITY takes a different turn. Sometimes we even flat out deny that the road has changed course. To begin with, we become angry and frustrated. We stress about where our actual road is leading, and we feel sad and depressed that the path is not going our way. In a certain sense, we continue to travel in the same direction in our fantasy, and miss the turn off. This equates to real conflict and dissonance, because our wishful path diverges and strays further away from our actual path of reality.